I’m starting to peek back into national news after keeping one eye open most of last month. Let’s blame the holidays.

The fires in my hometown are obviously devastating. The death of a statesman which has drawn dignitaries and former Presidents to his funeral is also a major news story, 100 years old! And, of course, the changing of the guard. It reminds me that being a newsperson is in my blood, but it is also in my nervous system.

I’ve written before about how important it is to take a step back sometimes. But what if you can’t? For years I have been numb to some of the most deeply terrifying stories. My nerves have awoken for many big stories over the years, which have made me more human. Like hearing about Saddam Hussein being captured from down in a deep hole in Iraq, the death of Osama Bin Laden and more recently the wildfires that raced through Maui. I remember thinking my job wasn’t stressful because I love it so much. But the older (and wiser) I get, the more I know that it is a job that is married to stress. Just because I am not reporting national news now, doesn’t mean I am not paying attention. My high school is an evacuation zone as I write this, so I am not numb.