Messin’ With My Spammies

Messin’ With My Spammies

I’ve never eaten it, I’m talking about the email kind.

Most people never even peek into their spam folder. I recently noticed that my spam filter was too strict so a lot of important emails were filtering into that folder (and my sent folder for some dang reason).

We’ve all received those emails from the mysterious Ambassador, King or Queen from Nigeria who has millions (even billions) of locked up dollars. And for some reason you are their lucky chosen one who gets a piece of their fortune, if you can just help them unlock their locked bank account by adding some of your cash (or bitcoin). Or there’s my absolute fave, the guy who somehow (and this feels scary) knows part of your email password, and threatens you unless you deposit money into their account. Then they won’t tell anyone you’ve visited “X” or “Y” porn site. That’s never been for me so I wasn’t worried.

These scammy spammers never have a return address, but sometimes, the really ignorant ones do and give it to you. So my evil twin started to respond. I know, what a waste of time, but you know what, it gave me a sense of satisfaction to email back.

At first I would say, “oh no, tell me more!”. Or, “dang you got me”. Or, “I’m reporting you to the FEC, FCC, SEC”, or whatever made up initials that probably don’t amount to anything to see if I could scare them into leaving me alone! Maybe a curse word sprinkled in for good measure 😉

I know I could just empty the spam folder and be on my way, but no! I have found it’s actually fun and sort of gratifying to respond. Maybe I have too much time on my hands (I don’t). I must say the porn ones though, they trick you into sending them bitcoin to an account and don’t use a regular email account and let you know you cannot respond (unless you just deposit your money wherever).

All kidding aside, the thing about all of this is they do get money from some people who are either desperate to get money themselves, or not savvy enough to know it’s a scam. Like the one where your friend, family member or spouse/partner has been kidnapped and you can wire money to get them out. Unfortunately many have fallen for that one. I had one of those sent to me from a friend’s account, thankfully I write news for a living and knew it was bogus. I also knew my friend was not in prison with a broken leg in Snake Island.

I’d love to hear your funniest spam email!

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