I AM NOT THAT

You know that ad you’re running for a talented and passionate, loyal, resourceful, dedicated, on-time, goal-oriented, optimistic blah, blah, blah blah, blah utility person?  Hey you, yeah, you, I must pick this apart.

First of all, don’t we all want THAT person? And how many times are you going to run that ad?  And did you realize it’s riddled with typos and spelling problems?  I am personally not that desperate to apply to your company after I read your ad and see it running ad nauseum.  It makes me wonder many things, oh where to start?  The most glaring for me?  Why don’t you know how to spell yet if you’re in management (or at least get someone to proof it for you so you look like you know what you’re doing.)?  Why have you not found your person yet?  Can we get down to the brass tacks of it? Are you a jerk? It’s ok, be honest.  Do you have a giant ego?  That might be ok too. Are you paying for the flight for an interview? Hotel?  A car? Are you cheap or budget challenged?  And lord, why must you use so many verbs to find your person?

Can’t we make it more simplistic like

“Help Wanted: locally (or regionally) located jack-of-all-trades needed, good pay, great company, awesome boss.”

I’m. So. In.

I think sometimes managers try to be too smart and they sound really, REALLY dumb.  We don’t need 100 verbs to describe what we’re looking for.  That tells me, you’ve yet to work with someone like that.  Or you haven’t found your dream date?  No matter, let’s simplify, always simplify.  So many demands, so little time.  When I read something like this, with too many demands and those dreaded spelling problems, a red flag goes up and I move on.  Snotty? Maybe.  Perhaps there are those who will fly themselves out for an interview, lie to your face and say they are all of those things and more, and will gladly accept $8/hr. to write copy, produce spots, write news, anchor news, go to city council meetings, run to breaking news stories, voice track the mid-day shift and be on call overnights and weekends, phew! 

I am not that.

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