People are hoping for so many things in these trying times. While I’m writing about school budgets and state budgets, others, unbeknownst to many of us, cannot afford to buy food. They are putting food on their family table sure, but it’s with the help of credit cards, which is not helpful. 

I count myself as someone who is grateful for the life I have. It’s not always easy, this life I made for myself, by myself. I am not one to actively practice gratitude, but it’s not a bad idea. I am grateful I can afford food right now.

I learned this word in yoga, equanimity. It’s tossed around quite a bit in that world, staying calm when life is anything but. How do we do life when the current rises like a tidal wave?

I recently found myself with a weekend of availability. It’s not a usual thing for me, so I quickly worked to get myself to the ocean. I love the smell of the sea; and the sound of the waves. It soothes my soul. The moment I arrive, I find that word. But alas, the ocean is too far from me, and I haven’t been in years, so I jumped at a chance to take myself to the calm I so longed for. 

I’m in New York state, so I thought of Long Island, or the Jersey Shore, and since I’ve never been to the shore and was unsure where I would go, I went to “The End”. That is what Montauk is referred to as, the End. It’s the end of the Island. And a fitting phrase in this moment. 

I got to sit by the ocean.

I also watched the rich.

With wonder.

What is it like to have an amount of money where you don’t even think about the amount of money you have? And, what is it like to wander about (seemingly) without a care in the world? I don’t know. And it’s not something that I would instead say, I wish I knew, because I don’t. This wandering is the opposite of tranquility. And importantly, puts you out of touch with your neighbors, my neighbors. And it’s just Long Island after all, dotted with tiny homes that sell for a million or ten, and those are the ones that don’t even sit on the ocean. A shack on the dirt, with a few trees for millions. Make it make sense.

Sure, I’m lucky and yes, grateful, so very grateful that I got to spend time there, please do not read this wrong. But it’s not lost on me that people go hours, days, months or years and never know suffering. 

I have known too much over the last decade. And many times I can’t locate equanimity, I do all the things, the breathing, the meditating, the sitting. 

Being at one with nature is the way. Being with something greater than us is surely the way. 

I know it. 🙏🏼