Do you ever quiet yourself because you love the job you have, or you love the person you love, but someone or something is making your life challenging? And, it feels easier to stay mum? 

Maybe the someone else is unhappy with their own job, their personal life, or they’re simply being unkind, and it doesn’t matter why. You may experience this as having to make yourself small to please them.

I have a big personality, I have loud opinions and sometimes I honestly believe things could be more successful, or be done differently. And I like to share, but I try hard to be kind, friendly and fold in some laughter. 

I once worked for a company (whose name is best left unsaid), who took so many years to start podcasting. I had 20 years under my belt and some ideas about where we could write and leave stories (banking copy) for others (many of us anchored these podcasts). The response was: “yeah, we’re not doing that”. Hey, I can let things roll off my back after this long in entertainment/broadcasting, so that was totally fine, but why not instead say, “that’s a great idea, let me put some thought into that”? Or a simple, “let me get back to you”. And when they didn’t, I would know how to take a hint. Because… social cues. 😳

But after one give others enough ideas, asks for enough meetings with leaders or managers, and gets shot down enough times, they will quit the job (if they can), start quieting themselves, or completely shut down. 

And you might even do this at home too. When your input is quashed so many times, you eventually come to the conclusion, “why try?”. And who could blame you? (I have news for you, you’d be surprised.)

Sometimes others are not healed from whatever they’ve been through, so it’s up to you to keep on forging ahead for your own sake. But it’s also important to note when it might be enough; and seek out a new job, a new opportunity or perhaps a new partner, so you can come out of whatever this quagmire is, better, for yourself. 

#thanksforcomingtomytedtalk