Many of us have sadly had to deal with some form of sexual harassment at work. Some are traumatizing experiences, and others take the form of dealing with nasty people who don’t like that you are in a position of power.

I have not considered myself someone who would complain about this, until I had to. I was only 22 and I caught a male co-worker staring down the back of my jeans at my exposed lower back as I sat forward toward my computer. I looked up to this guy. I was an editorial assistant; he was a well-known news anchor in the major market where we worked. After an investigation, he was fired as many other women corroborated my story, with one of their own. He stalked me after he was terminated, police were called and my employer put me and my roommate up in a hotel. I never heard from him again after that.

And so, I learned early, that some things are so obviously wrong. 

Fast forward to the #metoo movement when so many women exposed their trauma and those who traumatized them.

We live in a much different time now where we still don’t necessarily feel comfortable talking about such things, but we know, we must. I’m not saying this doesn’t happen to men, I am only talking about my lived experience.

I have spoken here before about a man who worked for me who harassed one of my anchors and I fired him, because I believed her and he had been disrespectful to me before that. So, here’s my topic, and it could be an entire podcast quite frankly, when men feel emasculated around a woman in charge. That feels harsh or severe, but again, it’s my lived experience.

Over the past few weeks, I have felt that I have increasingly needed to assert myself, and honestly, it feels icky. One of my managers pointed out that there are few women managers in the field of broadcasting. If I go back thru the years, I can remember a couple bosses I had, outside of radio, who were women, and they weren’t great either. So, then I must think about my own attitude across the board. And when I comb thru the cobwebs of my mind from way back when I find that these women might still feel difficult, if I had to work for them today.

I have always felt I have worked better with men, but lately I am scratching my head, wondering why men I have never spoken to in my life have an attitude at go. I’m a social creature; I love a good talk. And if we’re talking about the passion I have for the job I do, I could talk all day long. Maybe they’re in a hurry. But when I am right on a subject, I have found they don’t like it. But after I have explained myself ad nauseum, why? Maybe I’m coming off rude? I can own that, but what if I am not, because it’s over email and just like handing over instructions, typewritten? 

One of my male bosses once told me to shut the F up, because he couldn’t figure out some technology and I nicely, and quietly showed him how. He didn’t like that I was right and he was flustered. These kinds of people are here to teach us how not to be.

One of my anchors who has been with me 7 years was dealing with something new, so we had to chat often over a week’s time, which we never do. And he reminded me, while giggling, that I was horrible to him when he applied, but he harangued me enough that I broke down, and now he’s really one of my prized people. I’m very happy he told me, and when he told me when it was, I knew, I had just lost my mother and had some other personal problems. I apologized to him, because no matter what our human experience is we shouldn’t foist that onto others. 😳